Hindsight is 20/20 vision!

@Mathew You’re missing the entire point of this post, and it seems like you still don’t get it. 🤷🏻‍♀️ It’s not even the very least a discussion about right or wrong, and I think most people here have been trying to explain that to you.

@June so what is the point?

@Mathew An expression of life’s circumstances—occasionally not the most situationally ideal or emotionally linear—but a learning, an experiencing, a growing, a sometimes being in a perplexing state of not knowing, and despite it all, that it’s all okay—and that’s part of the intricacies and complexities of what we call “life”, that which is, and always will be, something with so much to look forward to.

@Mathew , there's compromise in marriage, and problems that will inevitable come up that both parties will have to learn to work through. What I'm talking about is compatibility based on morals, values, lifelong vision, future goals. Things that you don't and shouldn't compromise. She said they both wanted different things in life. She did the right thing by letting him go. It takes more than "love" and "having good intentions" to make a marriage work.

@Mathew I think single people are just trying to figure themselves out and not ready for commitment. In the USA culture , it's a very individualized mindset as well. Times are changing, and the economy is changing. There's more focus on building a career instead of building a family. Technology and dating apps have also changed the dating culture drastically as well.

She doesn’t say how long they knew each other before dating, whether they were dating to know or dating to marry…

@Mathew So you’re saying you’re willing to marry a gal, say, with worldly values or who doesn’t want a life of evangelism? Or alternatively, is quite Christ-like but is equipped to serve God in a different environment than you are? (Not that you have to serve in the same way, but it would have to at least be applicable to the same locale) I think the 4 things Jewel listed were big-picture, not nit-picky preferences.

@Mathew please don't make assumptions about a relationship you weren't in. We weren't the right people for each other and that's why it didn't work. It had nothing to do with compromise.

Example: You are a missionary in Indonesia but she teaches Christian theology at a university, that generates a few missionaries each year, in Arkansas. What is she supposed to do?

@Mathew I didn't delete your comments, I don't even know how to. And you are making assumptions about the character of people you don't know from a short and purposefully vague post..

@Mathew sure, that’s why I gave the second example. I just think the end goal isn’t to be married, but yeah I also see how that may limit me as you say. What things factor into your decision to attempt a relationship with someone?

@M I guess I’m giving God my ideas for the script but ultimately He writes what He wants and the way He wants… if we let Him. ✝️

@Subashni What do you think of the idea of having 2 lists? 1. Absolutely MUST HAVE 2. Nice to have. If anyone else reads this, what are your strategies for filtering?

@Jude I don't really believe in lists as people are not projects. But I think it's similar in that I have 5 non negotiables and everything else is worth a compromise

@Subashni Can I ask what they are or is that too personal of a question?

@Mathew 100% but “filtering” for a suitable life partner and “just waiting” are 2 different things. You still need to use wisdom in choosing who you bring into your life. We are called to be careful and responsible. #Stewardship “You have and will always have to put in the effort and work at the relationship” - fair enough…but we’re also looking for a few other things. We do not want to set ourselves up for failure. #Intentional

@Subashni Why did you stay as boyfriend and girlfriend for 5 years? Were you friends before? What would you do differently if you could?

Because we were in our very early 20s and it wasn't wise to marry before our frontal cortexes were fully developed.

@Subashni Would you say it’s a bad idea to get into a relationship in early-mid 20’s?

@Jude no but I'm glad I didn't marry quickly because I would've married wrong. These opinions are based solely on my personal experience and I don't have an opinion on when other people should marry. I believe Marry when God calls you too.

@Subashni thanks for that better off with nobody then the wrong person sometimes its dissapointing to see you getting negative comments here you did the right thing not marrying someone you had doubts about sometimes its better to enter marriage a bit older and wiser i hope and pray god helps you find someone

@Luke amen. I think the negative reactions come from a place of unresolved hurt and to that all we can do is pray the Lord will heal that wound. As my mum says it's better to wait long than marry wrong.

@Subashni thats a great saying better wait long then marry wrong

Thank you for sharing. May God turn for good all that the enemy intended for destruction.