The lengths some would go to convince me that they are Christian and committed to courting me...Ive had plenty of the "God showed me...", so I fear that I won't know when a true Godly man (not one who portrays to be) is led by the Lord to pursue me.
Their actions does not match what they say. Examples, Christian, but does not go or serve in a church or just ghost you....
I live in a town where there are very few sound churches. It's difficult to find a sincere sister, and those who do claim to believe are more carnal than anything. Then those who claim to be believers are either married to an unbeliever or pursuing a relationship with one. It gets confusing at times, but I trust in the Lord's timing. I joined this app in hopes to meet a sincere sister who loves Christ before anything, and what makes it difficult is that I'm just so far away. God bless you all
@Eric so many people settle and become unequally yoked, rather than waiting for God's best for them. Its a shame. I pray you won't have to wait long đđť
@Cate thank you sister. I appreciate the encouragement, God bless you
@Eric it's well Eric, speaking for all genuine Christian sisters here... We may not be many around you, but we do exist an. Keep looking brlbrovv, you'll find your one. The Lord will lead you right. Be decerning and continue to be led by He who said it is not good for you to be alone. You will surely find the one suitable for you in every godly way. Amen.
They claim to be Christians but they want you in bed without even getting serious with you & marry you. Can't even talk to them anything under the sun & about sharing bible verses. they would say they "want you" but then will look for what's lacking in you. Well, you just move on even if it hurts you & made you feel anything less. You can't lower your standards to be accepted coz God doesn't think of you anything less.
That's a real share, but I do know that there are still good Christian women out there and abiding by all of bible standards as well. The Lord will lead you and guide you right, just let Him and be decerning, that's why we have the holyspirit, if we would just listen and obey Him always...
Real shame I mean...
My biggest disappointment has been meeting âChristian menâ who either bear no fruit or produce rotten fruit. I know this isn't true for all Christian men, but it has been the case for the majority I've encountered. Some men in their 40s donât want kids, yet still wish to engage with me, even though I want children. On the flip side, there are those who donât want to pursue a relationship w/ me because they think Iâm too old. Itâs a really confusing place to be in.
@Sarah i share and feel a little bit your frustration. I thinks it is most because of the people we like, because I found similar problems with girls of my age.
@Sarah strange predicament
Totally agree with you sis but we will not lack our godly mate. They will come.
My biggest disappointment is when I go on several dates with someone and they decide they don't want to date someone with kids. I've so often heard, "You have so many of the characteristics I want in a husband, but I just don't think I can date someone with kids." I totally get that a woman without children of her own may prefer to date/marry someone who doesn't have kids. But it would be lovely if they expressed that BEFORE matching and going on a few dates, rather than afterwards đ
One thing that really annoys me about Christian dating is how some Christian men think that just because youâre both Christians, a woman should lower her standards and settle for whoever shows up â like having faith means you should accept the bare minimum.
đ
The biggest disappointment is that I met amazing Christian men who are so disciplined in following Christ, yet it never works out to the point where I actually date them. The way I deal with it is by prayer.
@Sion interesting
The pressure men give me when it comes to having children. Especially christian men. Yes, I am already 30 years old but I am still mentally not there yet.
@Andrea Well donât wait til your 40. Donât want to be tactless but womenâs best years for having children are your 20s. Itâs biology. Donât listen to people who say you can wait indefinitely, until youâre ready. What if you never are? Our parents and grandparents didnât know what they were doing. You learn by doing. So they say.
Really simple - take away the stumbling block and expectations formed in 'dating' which can come with 'online dating' as a pre-curser for commitment with intention before being a brother & sister in Christ. Therefore intention of Brother & Sister in Christ first & having that foundation, if God wills then it will deepen and develop.
The standards/attitudes/behaviours of those who profess to be Christian. Iâm not talking denominational/theological differences, but values everyone should live by - kindness, truthfulness, integrity, compassion. It should be a given, especially on a Christian app. Iâve just got used to the disappointment. I grew up in stable Christian home, but realise Iâm in a minority - sadly, there is so much brokenness and a lack of teaching/discipleship, but people treat dating as a shortcut to fix it.
@Rob that's sad... hopefully the Christian community around you will show you a better side going forward.
@Rila Yes it is sad - my comments were in regard to Christian dating, rather than Christian community as a whole (Iâm in a very supportive house group). The combination of the church/dating apps set unrealistic expectations whilst also not discipling. There is a lot of criticism of men (some of it justified), but from experience, itâs hard to find Christian women who live by the basic values I listed, before considering any preferences.
Weâre not promised no problems in life, weâre promised that God will never leave nor forsake us. The Apostle Paul gave thanks for his hardships, which by the way, were FAR more severe than dating problems!!!⌠Keep focused on Jesus & working on ourselves, bring single is not a curse, it gives us a chance to prepare our heart. Iâve been single many years & yeah, now that Iâm dating again, itâs challenging, yet I refuse to settle for less than Godâs best⌠God bless yâall đđź
On the first date he told me he wanted me to leave my church to go where he was going
@Stef How kind of him. I do hope he realized that won't be happening when that second date never comes. At least you found that out quickly!
@Stef wow! Donât walk, run!
@Stef Different denominations?
Society is obsessed with body image, and people dont want to know the person.
@Cate Tell them you support Reform UK and youâll have the men lining up. Very based.
@Brian based? I'm not sure what you mean. There is nothing wrong with Christians being in politics, and thankfully, we still (just) live in a democratic state where we are free to support whichever party we choose. Praise God for that freedom đ when many of our brothers are sisters around the globe dont have this, and live under persecution.
@Cate Excuse the huge delay. I wasnât being antagonist. Based in zoomer online parlance means something like strong and Conservative. More and more Christian men are moving in that direction.
Always end up getting hurt. Particularly after my last relationship. I focused on myself in the midst of a breakdown, exercise and therapy were a godsend. I tend to find that I care too much and get taken for granted in return, and in some ways, it hurts more with Christian relationships. But we are all human, and God asks us to forgive one another, as he has forgiven us! The best way to deal with these heartbreaks is to not throw blame and find a way to forgive those who hurt us.
@Antony when we are designed to be so gentle and loving, we can get hurt so easily. Forgiveness is the key to moving on. I pray God blesses you with an amazing wife đđť
As someone who has been hurt in Christian relationships I completely understand and share your pain. Sometimes you just wonder how they serve the same good, kind and intentional God, you wonder how they pray and not feel rebuked in their spirit. But then we learn from the hurt and pain, we allow ourselves heal, and trust God for the right one, but also with more wisdom and discernment.
Most definitely, the demographics. At 44, I seem to be right in the hitting zone, as it were, where single women my age really, REALLY, want to have kids. I won't begrudge them that. I'm a dad, and I love my kids. But, my kids are teens now, and I'm past wanting any more. I reckon in about five years' time, it will not be so much of an issue, but right now, it is.
One of the biggest disappointments in Christian dating is the shift away from intentionality in relationships. Many approach dating with a more casual mindset, delaying commitment rather than pursuing it with the purpose of marriage in mind. While getting to know someone takes time, dating was originally meant to lead to marriage, not indefinite uncertainty.
@Mh Perfectly stated Mh!⌠Iâm very open, honest, no games, no bs & Iâm very intentional when talking with ladies in asking & answering questions. Iâm also a believer that you should meet as soon as possible to see if thereâs chemistry. The Lord will take care of the rest! ⌠Be well, do well & God bless yâall đđź
Further, I heard Greg Laurie say in a sermon once that when youâre dating a person, if & when you realize or God shows you, that this person is NOT âthe oneâ, you need to end it immediately⌠Because why would you want to continue dating someone elseâs future spouse?!?!âŚ. Great perspective & advice!!âŚ. God bless yâall đđź
Hello! I thinks this happens so much with people of our age. It's most a cultural think, what people see in TikTok and etc. Our generation is so scare of commitment.
Disappointment in Christian dating? đ¤ the lack of dating probablyđŤŁđ
The demographics. I know God has someone better for me. He never fails.
My disappointment is that I send intros and not getting any reply which makes me think 1) those people are probably not interested in my profile 2) they might have registered themselves on the app but are not bothered to check messages Anyway Iâm still very much hopeful. Have a great Sunday
Have learned that rejection is a blessing, what is yours won't elude you, when God is silent he is building you.
@Hannah I like this saying!
The demographics 𼲠But i always believe God has someone special for me so I am hopeful. Reminding myself that this season of waiting is a preparation for what I am about to receive. Stay safe everyone! God bless.
Disappointment comes from expectations. Dating experience in general, including Christian dating, has been showing me to look more to Christ than worldly expectations. I came into with world with nothing and Iâll leave with nothing. I have learnt to realise that I am undeserving and everything I am blessed with is a gift from my Provider. I trust that God will provide for my needs to prepare me for His Kingdom. Single or married, I have everything I need in Him. I pray others will see this too.
Possibly the lack of like minded Christians around my area. It's pretty tough meeting people close enough, and long distance doesn't tend to work out. Honestly it's tough to even meet new friends đ đ
@Dave Dm me bro if you will
Bad eggs aside, I think my biggest disappointment has been that I havenât met a fellow-traveller. Iâve met lots of lovely men who Iâve really enjoyed getting to know, but where Iâve seen potential he hasnât been interested (or vice versa). Or thereâs a realisation that I or he would have to give up too much for a relationship to work. Itâs made me reconsider my purpose and in fact itâs strengthened my confidence in it. But I still struggle with that disappointment.
My biggest disappointment has been the amount of Christian men who were disingenuous and lacked intentionâŚ
Deleted content
Hello @Daniel , I hear you and respect your input. However, I am not putting all men in that category. While I do agree about the dangers of generalizing, I was speaking specifically to my own experience in dating.
@Daniel She didnât say âall menâ Daniel!⌠& brother to brother, unless itâs your young daughter, never begin a sentence to a lady with âdo notâ!!!đ⌠it tends to go bad, quick!!đ¤ŁâŚ God bless yâall đđź
The demographics.
Lol, Christian dating? I've had this app on my phone for so long without anything happening that I forgot what it's even for.
My biggest disappointment in Christian dating has been the overwhelming sense of judgment and exclusion Iâve faced. Iâve struggled to connect with Christian womenânot because I donât share their faith, but because Iâve often felt rejected for being different. Growing up, I was bullied by girls, and that pattern continued through high school and even into adulthood, including in Christian spaces like Salt.
Instead of finding understanding and kindness, Iâve too often encountered criticism over things that arenât moral issuesâjust differences in personality, communication, or interests. Only recently have I realized that Iâm autistic, and that revelation has explained so much about my struggles. Like many autistic people, I donât always pick up on social cues, and I donât fit neatly into traditional dating norms.
Because of this, Iâve found more acceptance and meaningful friendships with non-believing womenâsimply because theyâve embraced me as I am, shared my interests, and never made me feel lesser for being different. That has been disappointing because, ideally, Christian community should be the most accepting place, not the most alienating.
As for dealing with disappointment, Iâve learned to stop placing my hope in peopleâs approval and instead focus on what truly mattersâmy faith and being authentic to who I am. I remind myself that rejection from others doesnât mean rejection from God. I also surround myself with people who do accept me for who I am, regardless of their background.
Rather than letting disappointment make me bitter, I use it as a reminder to be the kind of person who treats others with the kindness and understanding I wish I had received. At the end of the day, I still hope to meet someone who values me for who I am and shares both my faith and my interests. But until then, I focus on living with purpose, pursuing my passions, and trusting that the right connection will come in Godâs timing.
@Ben L. Wow bro, you really poured out ur heartđ. You look really cute
@Ben L. Hey, Ben. Thanks for sharing your past experience. Iâve also dealt with rejection in my own way so hopefully I can help encourage you (or others reading) from one brother in Christ to another.
The way I see it, rejection in the dating world is not wrong. What makes it wrong is if itâs done without gentleness and respect. Sometimes, people can completely oblivious that the person on the other side of the screen is a human being created in the image of God. The absence of gentleness and respect in administering the rejection destroys the sacredness (in a way) of the receiver.
To me, this is not what it means to love our neighbour as ourselves. We can love our neighbour as the person administering the rejection as the one who receives it.
Iâm only speculating here but perhaps God may be teaching us in the Christian dating world how to love one anotherâregardless of the result.
