@Nathan wish I could see these in real time lol but I can tell you that the whole energy stuff is not biblical, if anything it falls more into new age. So let them manifest whatever they may please...continue pressing in for a good, Godly woman!

@Nathan sounds like a red flag to me too, for someone who doesn't want to work hard on a relationship (and maybe other tasks too) ... I expect to pull my weight in a relationship. I think your gut instinct is spot on. But I know a lot of people and very few of them would put that on a profile, so... Maybe it's just a small group with an overly visible online "trend". Hold out for the real thing. God bless! 🙏♥️

@Chris if someone has their vax status in their profile, I assume their profile hasn’t been updated in a while.

Just like high school, for some ppl "Vax" status will never be over, bcs they felt marginalised and or traumatised by the way they were treated, or the experiences they had... Or, some ladies who want to be mothers might be concerned there are yet-unknown reproductive side effects.

I see it listed on some gentlemens' profiles too - so it's not gender specific. Anyways the fabulous thing about humans is, we learn and grow, so hopefully with time and more knowledge, it'll become less of an issue. ( hope that helps).

@David ask questions, then ask follow-up questions based on their answers. I'm also not much of a texter though, so that's really the only advice I have 🙈😆

I think it can be nice to have at least pic with friends because then it shows you have friends. It's definitely a green flag if a guy has a solid group of friends that aren't his family. But if you don't have a pic with your friends, I don't think it's that big of a deal. Up to you!

I wouldn’t say it’s “important”. It’s more important that your photos are clear shots of you. In my photos with friends I doodle over their faces so it’s obvious which one I am (and also to respect their privacy).

No not an issue at all, as long as the conversation that follows shows guys have a circle of friends. A profile is a v limited amount of info, part of the fun of connecting is finding out more about each other 😄

Hi David, it was never a good idea to divide a family. There are many things that are destroying people's lives and they have been handed on a silver platter to the devil. Family, Faith, Identity, Values, etc, are now defined by what the world finds acceptable in their own eyes, not on the eyes of God.

And, how significant, in your thinking, are the cultural differences, differences in customs, language differences (e.g., you say flip-flops, I say thongs), etc.?

@Chris that shouldn’t be a problem or shouldn’t be relevant at all. The importance should be the values, the commitment, the respect, the emotional maturity, the love for Jesus.

@Chris i think culture or race doesnt matter when you find a reason to connect to someone.. all the best

@Jennifer Sorry for your troubles. You're pretty much spot-on, though. Generally, it's a bad deal for men.

Been dealing/wrestling with this. My pastor told me I am going through a Biblical divorce since God does not call us to live under abuse. Yet now that i am divorced and safe from abuse as soon as I talk to people its a huge red flag to have kids

@Jennifer That's a really good question, and if I'm reading it correctly, there's two related issues: divorce due to an abusive relationship; and then what next. I don't believe that the intention of the biblical teaching on divorce was to keep one spouse trapped in an abusive relationship. If my daughter were being beaten by her husband, I'd want her out of that relationship, especially if kids are involved.

@Jennifer As for what's next, I respectfully disagree that no man would want not marry a single mum with kids. There are few guarantees in life, granted, but I know several examples of men marrying single mums and being wonderful, Godly, and supportive step-dads.

@Stephen Agree! God made us with great care like polishing stones for each other.. if we are gender-alike, we both miss the point, and miss the Joy.

@Stephen yes unfortunately because I don’t agree with feminism 🙄

@Stephen no, I wouldn't say that it makes me less happy. However, I do feel that it has changed gender roles and made it harder to get married.

@Stephen 100% agree

@Stephen I believe I will find a husband but I do think feminism was a contributing factor - amongst others - to me not getting into relationships in my 20s. I feel like there was a strong emphasis around me on independence and career. Now what I want most is a husband and kids. But I don’t think that’s unattainable.

Feminism doesn't make me less happy because I don't subscribe to it, and never have (praise the Lord!). But does is make women who subscribe to it less happy? Absolutely, 100%.

@Stephen Feminism can mean women being allowed to vote, have their own bank accounts and get a degree. Many women in the world do not have these things yet. These are good things. The type of feminism you refer to is not feminism but rather a distortion of feminism which divides men and women in a harmful way. That is a bad thing.

Not a deal breaker. Like anything it's how you get on and what you fell is important to you.. I had a man not want to marry or date a divorce so that was hard.. But nothing to do with my three children.. All the best..

@Chris not at all as I'm a single mum with kids.

@Chris I personally think everyone has their preferences. I guess people with kids prefer to date someone who is the same. It depends on the man, his relationship with his children’s father, how many baby mamas and how finally how he treats his kids.

Myself aside (I’d consider myself not ready for that), I think it’s more of a concern if someone has kids who don’t ever live with them — it leaves the question of why they aren’t taking responsible care of the life they’ve built. So maybe your situation is a green flag! But my understanding of such things is limited

Well I want kids so that means that there are really just three things that I consider when looking at single dads' prophiles: how long ago did there relationship with the mother end, have they processed that relationship Biblically or are they going to make the same mistake twice, and do they share custody with the mother. And honestly the last one is just because I am insecure.

I have a son myself and would really hope that a genuine person would not allow that to "get in the way" so to speak. I think it just depends on the other person's values and wants! It personally would not bother me any:)

@Chris not a deal breaker, but I am mindful of the role I may or may not play in that dynamic. I was speaking to a man some months ago who mentioned children in his page, but ended up having quite a few and several that were pre-teens. As optimistic as I was, I have to be realistic as to my capabilities.

@Chris May I just throw in 2c as a bloke? If you married a single mother, chances are she'd expect you to pay to feed, clothe and educate her children. Chances are a woman marrying you as a single father would feel no such financial obligation. And, for a whole host of other reasons running the same way, single fathers for sure can hope to find a woman.

Hello, I am into single dads. I don't really want birth k i d s, so having a man with kids would be great.

I have no issues with it as I am a single mom, myself. The more the merrier! Lol

@Chris hi, I could ask the same question to you about single mothers. In my experience, women to to be more accepting of single dads than the other way around unfortunately, however, is not being a dad what can push a woman away, but how do you treat your kid(s) mum even after separating, do you speak ill of her, do you treat her with respect even if she doesn't, how do you teach your kids God's word and values, etc... Hope this helps.

it really isn’t ideal, but sometimes it’s just easier than facing confrontation. It can be hard or awkward to tell someone you aren’t feeling them anymore. Not that I’m justifying ghosting of course! It’s horrible

She might have gotten bored, or maybe she's one of those ppl that isolates when life gets rough, or sheughtve met someone. I don't think it's right to ghost anyone but have a done it? Yup

Probably for the same reason guys do ... because guys ghost too ... all the time...

Is it not better to accept the rejection and see it differently that it is better to get a no than be dragged along or given false hope? When you get a yes you won’t have to doubt it so much. “My opinion”

I think the pets does not take you seriously as a person. That's partly why I don't like these apps. We must remember we are all people. A polite ttfn.. Can help us all..

@Scott it happens to ladies too! Just Keep on keeping on

@Scott sometimes I think it’s the app.

@Stewart I reckon some people think that the more you can't have something, the more you want it ...

Usually I think they just are not feeling it's a good match.. But thars me. I would not play hard to get. Playing us not nice. I do think sometimes a lady is getting to know you. Keeping a distance.. And so it may come across like that... But that's just normal progress?

Not a game I would play, but perhaps it's not so much taunting you as it is maintaining boundaries?

@Stewart probably they're just more fussy about who they choose, seeing as it's such a big decision and it can make or break your life if your heart is ruined

@Stewart not everyone does it, but I'm sure it's to make sure you actually want her and she wants to see how hard you would fight to get her. Or it could be a defense mechanism cuz she's been burned before

@Stewart I would need to know your definition of "playing hard to get."

Well personally I don’t like being on my phone all day so tend to just reply to messages once or twice a day…

@Ade it means they are not interested.

If a lady is really interested, she will not take time to respond. Just like you would respond quickly if you are genuinely interested in someone! 🙂

I also take time to respond properly sometimes particularly if its a deep question. I may also be working so i'll probs be distractes

@Ade maybe because they are going off your energy. If I am somebody that responds quickly and then you take a day to respond to me or hours to respond to me that I'm not going to be responding quickly to you. I know it sounds childish but at the same time I don't want to be investing my time and prioritizing someone who may not be prioritizing me. I hope that helps you

There are some ppl they're aren't on their phones, all the time. And you might not have given them much to respond to. If you have already, try asking more open ended questions. Or call. (I dont like texting all the time) or maybe send a voice note. Texting can get boring quickly

@Ade I don’t often check my phone at work and try not to when I’m out with people. I choose not to get notifications to protect my peace. So I will usually take a while to reply. That said, if there is someone I am really interested in, the frequency of my phone use tends to ramp up quite a bit ☺️

I feel like the best way would be to ask?

She'll be open with you and show genuine interest in you by asking questions

@Jeremiah they remain engaged 😆

@Jeremiah if she’s actually responding to you during the day even if it’s been an hour or so. If it’s been 1-2 days, I would say she’s not that interested 🤷🏽‍♀️

Not at all.

If they have a problem with prayer then they are not a prayerful person. I wouldn't make it a long prayer thoug not on the first date.

I don’t think so, I would be so grateful if he lead in that way

@Aaron no but I would maybe think about the context as first dates are often awkward.

Personally I would find that a little intense on a first date...but others would lobe it

@Aaron That’s super intense. But if your date is just as intense as you it might work.

@Aaron No!

@Aaron Nooooo Brownie points

@Aaron I said grace before dinner. Went well 👍

@Aaron Good question. Depends what you’re praying for… Praying over food is different to praying over a relationship for example. Prayer can = intimacy depending on what’s covered.

having date at where exactly?

If it's natural.. No..

@Aaron I think you need to the read room on this one. In general prayer is always a good thing. But a girl may think that too Intense or overly spiritual

@Aaron nope! 👏🏽👏🏽

Yes that's doing too much in my opinion unless you're praying for our food. You should pray on your own time until we start really dating.

Never, it's actually impressive

@Yashua shared core values & principles (extremely important) then similar hobbies/simple pleasures.

For me is about being open to learn and embrace the other culture. For me if someone doesn’t want to know more about someone else’s culture is like they don’t want to know the person.

Lovely x

Would be musical worship.. Forme..

Poor communication skills

If the ONLY thing we have in common is our love for Christ… Some of us also want someone who has similar social and moral values with us. As well as similar hobbies.. like love for music or love for traveling. If there’s nothing else we can bond over asides studying the Bible and praying together (which I absolutely love) BUT I also want more to connect with.

@Steven lack of leadership and masculinity

@Steven I would love to know what the usual ones are. I think viewpoints is something for me. I want to encourage whoever I’m with in what God has called them too but I really value it when they do the same for me!

@Steven when they over spiritualise everything, don’t flirt and are not sure about what they want.

@Steven personally weak bible literacy is a huge put off for me. I want to have deep conversations about God with my person

@Steven a bad dress sense, lack of presentation in themselves and a man who hasn't dealt with their past trauma

Thank you to everyone who responded here (and to others who choose to comment here after this). This was quite helpful, and it’s great to hear viewpoints from your side. I really appreciate it! :)

Trying to initiate sexual conversations or making sexual comments

Lol.. When I feel they are judgemental.. All have sinned and fallen short.. And if you hate.. It's like murder .. If you lust it's like adultery. I like men who are aware of their own weakness

@Steven men that sag, poor communication, and they drink or smoke

@Joseph_ bruh, we ain’t confusing🤣if we like you, you’ll know

@George it would not bother me at all.

I would be impressed.

My hope would be that they are a virgin

@George I would try to meet him. For me is something good. I don’t like how hard society can be with men that decide to wait to have sex.

@George I would have lots of respect for him and his decision to keep himself

I hold sooo much respect for a man who has kept himself for marriage because it's rare to fund a guy that does and unfortunately the church hasn't done a good job instilling that in men (imo). However, I will say that attraction and compatibility plus God's will may come into play. I won't get with someone just because of that one thing alone but I applaud them immensely! 👏🏾

@George with a lot of honour & respect.

Good for him. How would? you react if the lady you date isnt

@George that would be amazing and honorable 😊👏🏽

@George impressed

@Chris yea I see a lot of “build wealth”, “we could be a power couple”, “what would you do if you won the lottery?”, “A home needs to have bla bla bla”

@Chris This is something that has to be talk through in detail. It depends on where both people are in life and where they want to get to. Also is it contentment financially, spiritually health wise? It's a big topic. I think attitude on contentment in your lot is important, I.e. not chasing the wind/Wealth.

To be honest, I would not date a person who is bad with money.

@Chris I think that’s great but for me having had previous experiences where they were content and that meant I ended up having to be the main provider in a variety of ways - I would prefer that his contentment didn’t result in keeping carrying the weight but us being equals in that.

Each to their own, for some of us it doesn’t matter at all

@Matt I'm short and I would prefer someone close to my height. However, the Lord shall make His grace sufficient with whoever He chooses for me.

@Matt There's no blanket answer to this question, every woman has her preference. Personally, confidence is always more impressive than height.

Height preference is relative: I'm taller for a woman, and I think I'd feel un-feminine with a guy who's a lot shorter than me so I haven't really tried. Can I throw this question back to U too Matt? - and the other short kings - do U find taller women unattractive? I'm genuinely curious.

I'm 5"11 without shoes. On a dating app I tend to have a cut-off point at 5 ft 10. But I've dated 5" 9(9.5? I think) IRL. I KNOW FRIENDS WHO WANT MEN TO be taller than them but as I'm taller than the average woman I keep my options open 👐🏽

@Matt I’m short so everyone’s tall to me

I don't consider height as I'm a shorty. Quite enjoy dating men closer to my height.

@Matt if the woman is confident, then it doesn’t matter.

@Matt I prefer a guy to be taller than me

@Matt My ex boyfriend was shorter than me and we were together for two years. Personally, I don’t have a problem with height, but I need the man to be confident about his height. A lot of shorter men I’ve met tend to make a big deal about the height difference, and it’s obvious they are uncomfortable with it which is why I tend to just stick with people my height or taller these days.

@Matt it depends on the woman

@Matt height matters to them remember they are women first as well as Christians followers it doesn't just go away.

I’m not particularly interested in what someone’s earning. You’re right, more important is whether they’re hardworking, and also wise with their money.

@Paul How much someone earns is not necessarily important, vision from God and being committed like you mentioned, to know where you're taking your family financially matters. You can still earn six figures and still be careless with money. Also, being lazy and day dreaming all day doesn't help, you can still "day dream" and also earn something on the side while working on that dream.

@Paul For me, I would love to stay home with the future kids for the first few years of their lives. I am hoping my mortgage will be reasonably small by then but know that family lifestyle is still something I couldn’t achieve alone. There’s a lot of appeal in a man who wants the same for his family and has a heart for providing for that

@Paul There is no such thing as a rich ugly man 🙃

@Paul I believe salary matters if there is an expectation of traditional roles. Men who expect women to be SAHMs should expect to be providing at an adequate level. However if you have two contributing adults then I think the combined income should be counted.

@Paul If the woman is thinking holistically, it depends on what kind of family life and future the woman is looking for. If she is looking to be a stay a home wife with more than 3 children and comfortable as well, then she would clearly be looking for a man who makes/plans to make an amount sufficient for that scenario. You need to find someone who’s ideal matches with yours, and the means that you plan to have for that time.

Yep commitment to relationships, and to being wise with money is a far bigger flex 💪😜 for a long term healthy relationship IMO

From general social media chatter, I get the impression men don't like it when the woman earns more...

Six figures, what is that in Jamaican dollars 😂

@Paul agree with you especially if they can also live in their means.

As long as a man can take care of himself and is gainfully employed it's none of my business when we're dating. Only becomes my business if we marry.

@Paul personally not something I’d consider when deciding to date someone or not. However it is somewhat of an important factor to consider depending upon age, life goals etc.

Jesus worked.. A carpenter and our saviour.. If his lifestyle was enough then I feel maybe we have to consider why high salaries are as o. Important

I agree with your statement; I'm more concerned with if they have the ambition and drive to seek opportunities to maintain the family. My job isn't glamorous or high paying, but I seem to make more than many my age?? But I enjoy to work...so a similar mindset, regardless of education is preferable to me

Just as it's been said, it's lovely that someone can have that kind of income HOWEVER that does not mean the love of God is in them. A man who works to provide, and comes home with dirty hands and clothes from working, but with joy and love in his heart, is better than any 6 figures salary....

To me it is more important that he has a good work ethic, and a mission. Somewhere he wants to get, and the drive to get there. If we're pinching pennies for a while, that's totally fine with me 🤷🏼‍♀️