THE MONEY 💸

@Taylor Answer 1: By what the texts says before God said “It’s not good for Man to be alone”. Answer 2: Obviously our world was perfect before the fall. It is not good or right for my car to be white. I going to make it red. The car is perfect fine being white. It only means that I want it to be a particular way moving forward.

2) I worry that you are taking liberties with God’s word. Where God creates He says “it is good” but never “it is perfect” if God says “it is not good” is he creating imperfection? not necessarily. God is perfectly capable of stating what He considers to be a fact leading to His own intent. If He made man “perfect” and then in an instant “not perfect” wouldn’t His word contradict itself? I don’t particularly mean to turn this into larger discussion so i will leave it at that.

@Jude Now I regret saying i didn’t want to get into it 😩 by perfection do you mean man’s understanding of perfection or God’s understanding of perfect? because those two distinctions are potentially very different. by man’s standard Adam was not perfect: otherwise he would have known better than to sin. he would have been wiser, smarter and more discerning, and the same goes for Eve. God is perfectly capable of creating imperfect things that are still good.

@Taylor The statement is “It is not good more Man to be alone” is a reflection of God’s sentiment. It’s is not a reflection on the condition of Adam being imperfect. God didn’t create Adam imperfect. He gave Adam freewill, which is good. However, he choose wrongly. He acted wrongly. Freewill enabled a person person to act wrongly. It doesn’t mean that Adam before the fall was imperfect.

@Taylor I’m either taking liberties or you’re thinking too simplistically without accounting for all the details.

*perfect person

@Taylor Where in the bible do you see the word trinity? This is called the verbatim fallacy. As if it has to be verbatim for you to understand. You can work it out with reasoning. Adam and Eve were in perfection within the limitation of the created physical world and free will. Being that Adam and Eve were limited and not divine, they were subject to damaging their perfection through the incorrect use of their free will.

@Jude the problem with the verbatim fallacy is that we draw generalization but then use them in very specific ways. You say that i’m taking God’s word to simplistically. Too simple for what? Too simple to be twisted to fit my own opinion? God’s word has always been more difficult to accept before we add words to it. Were the Pharisees condemned for adding their own teaching to scripture or for taking it too simply? but Jesus says:

@Taylor At that time Jesus said, “I praise You, Father, Lord of heaven and earth, that You have hidden these things from the wise and intelligent, and have revealed them to infants.” Matthew‬ ‭11‬:‭25‬

@Taylor The problem? It only becomes a problem when you ask for a verse to be specific to support your

…opinion. Otherwise, you do it all the time. Like “do not have sex before marriage” and the list goes on and on

@Oasis hey sweety. Yes, I completely understand. Hence, my mentioning “if both agree” and also “in my country they are mandatory”. In Portugal, you cannot get married without a clear compromise on how you assets are to be dealt with during and (God forbid) in case the marriage ends. (Continues)

@Oasis As Christians we all know divorce is not something we should pursue. However, humans are flawed, Christian’s or not, we are all subject to falling and in the case of adultery, the Bible allows us an exception. In these cases, we too as Christians need to deal with worldly affairs, namely what to do with our property. It is not romantic, not pretty. But it is a protection.

@Oasis Esp. When there are children involved. But each deals with this their own particular way according to their own conscience before the Lord. 😉

I hope things would be amicable enough that love and sacrifice would overrule any selfishness. I haven’t been married, but I have had defacto relationships and separations. It has helped to realise that we were not bad people but that we were just not good for each other. I reflect on how I came into this world with nothing and would leave without anything. It helps me not fight over silly things but think of the other as I go my separate ways.

@Oasis Hi Oasis, There are pros and cons to having pre-nups and there are complex legal issues involved. More importantly it is so easy to apply for a divorce here in Australia. The Bible also speaks about abandonment as a reason for divorce.

@Evelyn Jesus said divorces were permitted due to the hardness of people’s hearts. I would want to have faith God would provide for my needs instead of being concerned about a pre-nup. That’s just me personally. When I’m gone, I’ll be gone, my inheritance is in heaven, no where else.

@Jude Hopefully discussed over with wife.

@Oasis I’m not sure I understand…

@Jude buying a boat. That’s a big financial decision. You wouldn’t think to discuss that over with your wife?

@Oasis I said that’s being paid from my personal account. The shared account would be for the running of the shared home and the long-term shared goals of the couple and the family.

@Jude Christian relationships aren’t 50/50 they are 100/100. If your wife is struggling and the main income is in your personal account, how are you going to deal with that dilemma? There is sacrifice involved in marriage.

@Oasis I would also pull through to help my husband if he was struggling with debt. You do what you can to get through life.

@Oasis The mutual account would have a substantial buffer to begin with. It would account for contingencies. I’m sure we can do a risk assessment and allocate costs. If I absolutely need to chip in from my personal account I’d be happy to do that… but like you said it’s 100/100 so it can be expected that she would do the same.

@Jude I still think it would be wise to discuss the boat idea before just jumping in. I feel any wife would be taken aback if you just “yolo’d” it. Even just to obtain her input so she feels included and valued. If it’s a surprise boat for her, I still feel there would be casual discussions prior setting up the decision. If the boat is just for you and there have been absolutely no discussions or a consensus prior, it could be a shock to the unknowing party.

It could create issues unrelated to finances - ie. less quality time with wife due to fixing boat or going out on said boat, less backyard space for the garden idea she was gathering together in her mind, backyard will never be the same tranquil vibe with that big thing in her face. In summary, communication is important. Honesty, openness and transparency is essential in any relationship. It removes a lot of misunderstandings when done well.

@Oasis sure. “BTW. I’m buying myself that boat for my birthday. Cheers” 🍻

@Jude “that boat” implies there’s been a previous conversation that seems positive. If it wasn’t a positive conversation would you put your boat above your wife?

@Oasis the mutual fund takes care of the wife… And the kids! That boat means “that boat in the boat magazine” 🗞

@Jude Honestly can’t relate to such a high income proposition so I’m not sure how that world works. However, I do know I certainly would appreciate if my husband cared for my input. Even if to help pick the boat. It’s just a nice thing to do, you’re not single anymore 🤷‍♀️

If you wanted such independence why did you get married in the first place 🤷‍♀️

@Oasis 1. It’s my dream boat. I already picked it. 2. I don’t understand what “independence” has to do with this when there’s a shared bank account in place.

@Jude 1. Again, it’s not about you anymore. That dream was made when you were single, in this hypothetical, you’re no longer single. 2. A shared bank account doesn’t pay away your commitment to your wife.

@Oasis okay but the dream doesn’t just go away. You can still be committed AND fulfil your dream. Again, it’s not an EITHER-OR situation.

@Jude can you? Seems like you would choose your dreams over your commitment to your wife, if you’re going to purchase a boat without bringing her into the action.

@Oasis BOTH AND. I’ve observed that it is a concept that many people do not seem to grasp. That spans over many topics.

@Jude I feel there is more background on this hypothetical that needs further explanation. I think it would be important to let your wife know though and who knows, you may get your dream boat at a steal and you both can do it up together because your wife’s shopping and bargaining skills are better than yours 🤷‍♀️ you wouldn’t know unless you let her be involved…

@Oasis Spot on Oasis.

@Oasis That is true too… they call it unconditional love.

@Oasis Agree with this comment too. I expect that any man owning a boat would want to share it with family and friends. The wife is normally the one who would prepare the food etc etc. Making such a decision without her input would be unwise.

@Oasis You're right. I'm not a fan of capitalism but it's hard to escape its clutches

@Tony look to Christ, He’s got sobering even better for you :)

something**

@Oasis God & communism 😊

@Tony yeah, you lost me.

@Oasis Vive la difference 😊 We don't have to agree on everything

@Tony I hope you get to know Jesus better because the love of money is like the opposite of the Love of God.

@Oasis That is correct. The Bible teaches that the LOVE of money is the root of all evil because it causes a person to err from the faith and it brings many woes.

That is the ideal Lydia. It all depends on the honesty and integrity of the people involved.

@Oasis You said women initiate 70% of all divorces.

@Oasis Sorry are we agreeing or in disagreement? I don't understand the question.

Not sure about the 70% statistic. You’ll have to go back to the “Is marriage dying?” video to reconfirm the statistical figure, if one was provided. I will confirm though that, yes, women do tend to lean towards divorce more than men according to statistics gathered as per video mentioned earlier in this comment.

@Stan what are your “within reason” constraints?

@Oasis Isn’t that a reason? You trust a women and you’re committed but statistically she’s a potential liability by leaning towards divorce?

@Jude the video wasn’t specifically discussing Christ-centred relationships so that wasn’t a variable. However, the world does still affect us if we’re not fully grounded in Christ so yeah, we can all be tempted to such things. Don’t throw the baby out with the bath water though. Where is Jesus in your analogy? Anywhere?

@Oasis Again I understand the ideal and what Christians should be aiming for. The reality is that Christians do get divorced and across all denominations. According to GotQuestions, the rate of divorce among non-nominal Christians is about 30%. That’s more than 1 in 4 Christian marriages consisting of non-nominal Christians. How do we PRACTICALLY protect ourselves?

@Jude forgiveness, reflecting on the Gospel, humility. Also reading “The Meaning of Marriage” by Tim Keller on a regular basis and encouraging each other to focus on your personal relationships with Christ and letting that bring you together.

@Oasis Oh right, yeah so the first line of the questions mentions boyfriend & girlfriend, I don't believe I have to tell all about my finances, after all you can breakup with that person, but if we're on a path to marriage and kids, I must disclose all, for planning reasons.

@Jude I think Georg has shown a fine example of what a secure and healthy relationship dynamic is to be. It’s how God interacts with each other. They don’t have any secrets from one another and they are united in purpose all the way and we are formed after God’s image. Do you believe in the Trinity Jude?

@Oasis I totally understand the IDEAL, but I’ve observed REALITY around me. Proverbs 7:7-23 7 I saw some naive young men, and one in particular who lacked common sense. 8 He was crossing the street near the house of an immoral woman, strolling down the path by her house.

9 It was at twilight, in the evening, as deep darkness fell. 10 The woman approached him, seductively dressed and sly of heart. 11 She was the brash, rebellious type, never content to stay at home. 12 She is often in the streets and markets, soliciting at every corner. 13 She threw her arms around him and kissed him, and with a brazen look she said, 14 “I’ve just made my peace offerings and fulfilled my vows.

15 You’re the one I was looking for! I came out to find you, and here you are! 16 My bed is spread with beautiful blankets, with colored sheets of Egyptian linen. 17 I’ve perfumed my bed with myrrh, aloes, and cinnamon. 18 Come, let’s drink our fill of love until morning. Let’s enjoy each other’s caresses,

19 for my husband is not home. He’s away on a long trip. 20 He has taken a wallet full of money with him and won’t return until later this month.[b]” 21 So she seduced him with her pretty speech and enticed him with her flattery. 22 He followed her at once, like an ox going to the slaughter. He was like a stag caught in a trap,[c] 23 awaiting the arrow that would pierce its heart. He was like a bird flying into a snare, little knowing it would cost him his life.

Get to know Jesus and wise up so you don’t get beguiled by such women? But if you feel it’s something God is calling to you to do, read Hosea? (Although, I do feel Hosea was a unique case, used by God for that season as a rebuke to the Israelites). The sum of all my yapping is, put God first. It’s also the advice of Paul. From a personal perspective, I would have appreciated if neither of my parents remarried and just took care of themselves by basking in the joys of the Lord.

It would have saved the both of them from much further woe and heartache. Of course, that wasn’t the case, so I can only pray and hope they find peace in Christ. It’s been a valuable lesson to me. I still do fear being alone but what I fear the most is getting into a relationship because that’s all I’ve ever wanted, then losing Christ. That would be a tragedy. I’m praying God gives me contentment in Him because if I lose Him, I will truly lose everything.

@Oasis I appreciate your inputs. Wise up 👍is different from having trust issues. I think you can never be too careful. Hosea. I understand the context and representation. No - I won’t be with a prostitute, cheater or Onlyfans “model”. It’s not that bad being alone. I’ve been alone all my life. I think it’s harder for girls to be alone though - because you were pretty much made for relationship. It’s still not that bad. It’s hard but not that bad.

@Jude Wisdom can help us overcome trust issues. It’s important to remain curious, realistic but also optimistic and looking to how Jesus still loved despite being treated like a absolute trash and undeservingly too! We kinda deserve the dodgy treatment we get, but because of who Jesus is, He chooses to give us the best. We are to love like Him.

I will also say, in the lineage of Jesus there are harlots who were highly viewed (not because of their ‘harlotness’ but because they were faithful). To them whom is forgiven much, loves much (Luke 7:47). So don’t get too judgey. Jesus died for them too. Would you consider one who used to be in such a field? Perhaps she would be an absolute gem, absolutely loyal to Jesus. I actually frequently question if I was made for relationship. Singleness is a gift and woman can do great in singleness.

@Oasis I’m not judging. I am allowed to have preferences 👍 We all make decisions and we all have live with their consequences, which Jesus can resolve - but why try to correct when you can prevent?

I slightly resent that line “…because you were pretty much made for a relationship”. Sure you can briefly skip through Genesis and get that, but I’m not a skipper, (well, not when studying anyway). God made Adam for relationship too. Eve wouldn’t have come if Adam was just fine by himself. Both parties were made for relationship.

As an Adventist, I do read Ellen White and I find this quite encouraging. If anyone sees fault in it, I’m happy to discuss. <continue to next reply>

“God Himself gave Adam a companion. He provided “an help meet for him”—a helper corresponding to him—one who was fitted to be his companion, and who could be one with him in love and sympathy. Eve was created from a rib taken from the side of Adam, signifying that she was not to control him as the head, nor to be trampled under his feet as an inferior, but to stand by his side as an equal, to be loved and protected by him...

… A part of man, bone of his bone, and flesh of his flesh, she was his second self, showing the close union and the affectionate attachment that should exist in this relation. “For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it.” Ephesians 5:29. “Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife; and they shall be one.”

@Jude not correct, never recommend that, but I hope you wouldn’t cast someone aside just because find out about their past.

@Oasis I don’t agreed with Ellen G. White on MANY things. I am VERY familiar with her writings. I read The Great Controversy. Literally, in this conversation you said “Put God first”, which is the principle the apostles and early Christians adopted BEFORE the Rome. Hence, Sunday - the first day sabbath. That’s for another debate. God first, not last 👍

@Jude okay discussing the quote, I actually quoted, what did you disagree about that? I found it very healing and backed up by Scripture. What do you agree with, in this said quote? I’m not discussing Ellen White and all her writings, as that wouldn’t be wise, because I haven’t read them all yet. I’ll get there though. We are discussing this quote for now, what don’t you agree about?

@Oasis I am not going to debate you on Ellen G. White. I know church history and Adventist history. How do you know this particular quote is by her? How do you do you know she didn’t plagiarise from various authors For starters, I disagree on the basis that you can use many other real authentic authors who don’t plagiarise and literally copy from other people. When you examine a text you assess the source of the text first. Basic research method.

Why don’t you quote Joseph Smith from the Mormon church? Using your logic, I’m sure you may not agree with everything he wrote and said but some things you would have to agree with. I don’t understand how you think Ellen G White gets a pass… Well, she doesn’t. Not with me.

Why don’t you quote a pope from the Roman Catholic Church? They say many true things, which I’m sure you agree with.

Well, it's not about being seduced by some random woman on the street, but I think if you want to be in a relationship, you have to choose someone you can really trust with everything. And while some may have the "gift of singleness," I think most men, including myself, are also made for relationships. Part of my recent journey has been coming to terms with this and dealing with the pain of still not being able to fully live the life to which I have been called.

@Georg Great comment Georg. I think you summed it up well (again). :) Thanks for your honesty too. It is painful, you’re right. I’ll glad you have clarity of direction though. I don’t know where to find peace at times, in one hand I would love to experience a healthy relationship where there are two people on fire for God living as one, on the other hand, maybe singleness has its perks too, both have the opportunity to serve Jesus and I find comfort in that. 🌸

@Georg To clarify, we are ALL made for relationship - so we all struggle. In my view, however I think women were specifically made for relationship. Choosing someone who you can fully trust with everything seems to be a very difficult task especially nowadays.

@Jude with God nothing is impossible and perfect love casts out fear.

@Oasis I’m not sure if I personally can fully trust a person. #single

@Jude Hello Jude, Thank you for your posts. Here are my thoughts - the Bible talks about loving one another, submitting to one another, etc so a truly loving Christian marriage is about the relationship with one another as unto God. Many men too find it difficult when widowed and as they get older to adjust to a single life…

@Jude Next on the question of a boat you shared it is your dream … and I understand it would be something special for you. However, owning and maintaining a boat can be an ongoing drain on finances. For example, if a family can’t afford to keep up with loan repayments and put food on the mouths of children because money was going into a boat, a woman would feel utterly distressed by that …

@Jude Lastly, in Australia and even if you thought you owned a boat and spent money on it from your own funds, it would still get considered as part of a family law property settlement. So the message from Aunty Evelyn …

@Jude By all means aim for your dream but don’t let it become a nightmare or an idol. If God brings to your side a truly loving and supportive wife she will try to understand but will also need to feel financially secure and part of the decision making. Remember Ephesians 5 … husbands love your wives as Christ loved the Church. Hope that helps brother.🙏⛵️