âYou mentioned the audio bibleââ (A week prior, as part of a story)⌠âI was left wondering what your time with God looks like, because the audio bible is not enough.â Followed by: âWould you say your faith is your own, or your parentsâ?â (I hadnât brought up my parents)⌠âBecause I donât want to be anyoneâs spiritual dad.â đ
"You must feel really lucky to be here with me today đ"
âI donât mean to be too forward in any way but youâre absolutely beautiful. You look so greatâ
Diarrhea or vomit? Which is more disgusting?
@Brandon đđđ¤Łđ¤Ł
âCan we speed this up? Iâve got a pot of mac and cheese and Shrek waiting for me at home.â
when they play victim on their past relationship. everyone should take accountability hehe
You got any sisters? đ¤Łđł
I should be out in 6 months, wait for me.
đđđout of what? Eployment, marriage, encarceration, the psych ward???đđđ
@Luna I was sitting with incarceration, but the options are endless!đ
@Kati đđđ
What's a hot place like you doing in a girl like this?
@Michael đ
God told me I am going to marry you. If true, keep that to yourself until the other person hears from God too.
That she is a fan of the Pittsburgh Steelersđ
Bonjour Ă tous
For me, and other women as well, the two things that should never, ever be spoken on any date whatsoever are: 1.) Not discussing marriage to the guy until he romantically and lovingly makes the commitment to ask me to marry him 2.) Not discussing sex, physical contact, or my physical desires with him
@Tessa Thank you for seeing the guysâ perspective. Thatâs super healthy!
There are things not to say on a first date...? đ
Anything not true should not be said đ
The person knowing I am Christian: I see you are such a beautiful loving Person and it must have something to do with God, but I think that's too deep for me. I believe in Aliens that created usđ đ đ
@Johanna clearly the more educated answer đđ
@Johanna huh??
@Johanna Glaube da muss man dann nicht mehr fragen, ob es ein zweites Date gab đđ
Can you believe my ex is stalking me ?
"I have a boyfriend". Apparently we had different understandings about why we were meeting up.đ
@Fredrik đđ
I love you đđ
It might be due to my line of work, but i always apreciate it when people are as upfront with me as possible. Spares me a great deal of time. Things I apreciate people disclosing are: Faith Criminal background Psychological stability Relationship goals/intentionality Everything is free game. What drives me away from people is silence or the lack of a willingness to be transparent. I find dishonest people to be deceitful people, and they usually demonstrait that in their unwillingness to share.
I think from personal experience, its always nice to know the tough topics earlier on instead of later on when a great deal of time, meantal health and finance has been put into the relationship. I hvae never turned anyone down for over sharing, that actually comforts me. Undersharing however, feels like the person is hiding something, like they are married or engaged or in another relationship... etc. That's my humble opinion on this topic. đ
@Luna đŻI agree, same for me too!
@Luna I agree with you Luna, and I won't turn down someone for saying wrong things because nervousness can get the best of us at times. I count up to the 3rd impression to make my clear decision.
@MJ... yes, the rule of three is golden. "Stick for three" is what our pastor says to the new church comers. If after three rounds you still feel you're better off elsewhere, then follow that gut instinct. I'm glad you shared. I agree with your assessment as well.
- Babies - Children - Wedding - Mortgage - âDonât waste my timeâ - Sex - Topics where you offload your emotions
I wonder if the problem with avoiding these topics lie in missing the opportunity to discover whether or not the people involved share the same core value. In my humble opinion, the sooner these topics are known, the better off everyone involved is. For example, the person i go out with does not want kids, ever, but I want kids. Thats something we dont want to wait too long to figure out since the relationship will eventually die due to our core values not lining up. Same with the topic of sex.
@Luna âLove is patientâŚâ - I donât believe in âthe sooner the betterâ. I believe you go on a FIRST date to meet a person that God truly lovesâŚso when you go to meet that person itâs to learn about their life story, faith journey, aspirations, etc⌠as a FRIEND. #Friendateship If having children is so important to you, then I suppose you can make it a 2nd date question. I also believe in being intentional by planning your questions accordingly over time.
I can see how one might feel inclined to reason it out that way.
@Luna Give it at least 3 dates.
Will you marry me?
@Kacey lol, next time someone asks you this, please follow up with, "And then What?" To see where that conversation goes. I'm curious to know about the psychological thought process motivating proposibg on a first date. đ
@Luna I never actually did that đ usually when the topic of what not to say on a first day comes up, that's the one that first comes to mind for me lol
@Kacey oh, I see. đđ. Makes sense.
I canât believe how beautiful my eyes are đ
I'm single
I went out with a girl, who kept telling me from the first date âwhat happened in the past doesnât matter, â and yes that is true, but as I hadnât told her about my past and even if I had there nothing in my past which would cause alarm. why did she keep being it up? It got me wondering / concerned that she was worried about me finding something out about her
Is it possible that was her way of reasuring you that you are in a judgment free zone and so to feel encouraged to share whatever was on your mind? Some people are not great at conveying this message dirrectly and so tend to say something to the effect of, "the past is history/ doesn't matter."
Your place or mine?
Asking to split the bill as a man đđ More of a meme, but there are definitely girls out there, who will refuse a second date regardless of how it went after that question đ¤ˇđťââď¸
Lol, that was actually a conversation some weeks back. Not sure if you have had the opportunity to engage with it before it was replaced. But you share the sentiments of nearly a 3rd of the responders.
Why is a girl like you single ?đ¤Śđ˝ââď¸
@Loiwe Grace I admit, I have thought about asking that...I mean it as a compliment, but it didn't take much analysis for me to realize it is a negative.
@Martin yeah l get what you mean it is a bit of both in a way but maybe sometimes it is received as a negative depending on context.
@Martin hi
@Loiwe Grace after I thought about it a little in the past, I think it is reasonable for that comment to be taken poorly.
That is actually a harmless question, and depending on the tone, inflection, and sincerity, it does convey a great compliment. The way that you phrase it matters. Try, "you are truely an incredible person. Remarkable in everyway. If you don't mind my asking, what was one of your reasons for remaining single?" Most people will not take offense to the question when phrased with genuine sincerity and curiosity.
@Luna yep you nailed it girl đđ˝
Thank youđ
@Luna hmm, I would steer away from this question on a first date, but they way you put it together seems to be a valid way to go about it.
@Martin thank you. Personally, i think any topic is viable on a "first date" it all comes down to intent and delivery.
Wouldnât necessarily say that thereâs anything to not say on the âfirst dateââ Iâd say, just be yourself, and if someone doesnât like you for that, then itâs a quick mutual understanding of incompatibility (which you wouldnât want to stall for too long to find out). But, like, donât just mechanically ask questions, or interrogate.. Itâs a date, keep it lighthearted. Cadence matters, humor matters. Have a bit of charm. Weâll roll along well. Flirt. We like that.
Hello.
I'm inclined to agree with you.đ
The holy spirit must have put the two of us together - you are the one for me! (If it is the first time ever we meet)
Oh wow. Yep, definitely not for a first date.
đđđi have yet to hear that oneđđđđđ
@Raphaela hahaha yeah thatâs cringy on a first date
Don't talk about an ex. Don't talk about money. Don't talk about things you 'hate'. Don't lie.
Pulls out the phone and holds up the screen to my face. Heâs video chatted a woman. âThis is my twin sister, say hiâ đł âhiâ âThis is my girlfriend, Iâve been so excited to introduce you two.â And she says âgreat to meet you, heâs told me so much about you.â Literally a first meeting⌠there was no 2nd date so I guess he had to explain to his family that his âgirlfriendâ aka woman heâd been chatting for for a couple of weeks and met once broke up with him đ¤ˇđťââď¸
@Laura if you could see my face because I experienced something similar. Had been talking to a guy and the 2nd time we hung out he called his sister for a restaurant recommendation for us. Then he asks her if she and her husband would like to go. My heart dropped. He hangs up and goes, "WELL I guess you're meeting my sister đ"
@Kristina Isn't that called a double date which is common in many parts the world, less awkward bringing another pair to party?
@Luke not if it was against my will đ we had a few dates the two of us just fine, but that was the third instances where he had 'control' and would take advantage of that and put me in situations he knew I was uncomfortable in. I wouldn't have had the issue meeting his sister had he asked, but it was forced upon me and anything rushed or pushed is not of God.
Hi. So, how good is Collingwood!
Too many to say really. Most of you got it right. But also not to say nkthkng such as hiding you really a smoker a drinker or addicted to the phone like you are married to then J see you do it anyway. Yes, happened to me. Ohhh! The phone!
Family history, for example saying my parents divorced, my brother has a history of domestic violence, my sister has 2 kids different father's, that's too much information avoid oversharing
@Nancy yeah, I have received a bit too much information from some of the people I have gone out with in the past.
@Nancy do you guys have tips to navigate that when someone asks a personal question like that? It almost feels judgemental to me, I wonder I'd they question itself (seemingly to warrant a boundary being set in place to avoid oversharing) is a red flag in it of itself...đ¤
If the question itself, sorry typo
âYou remind me of my ex.â đŹ
I don't know. Maybe the psychology part of my brain, but those conversations are always entertaining for me. When people compare me to someone in their lives or past, it offers me a window into their thoughts. Learning about people is fascinating to me, so for some psych fanatics, this comment is gold. Granted not for any future relationships with the person, sure, but a fun conversation nonetheless đ
@Luna thatâs great! But for experience, if someone says that is because he/she hasnât overcome his/her ex. So, run away đ
@Enzo well, i am alergic to "running", so i dont do it. But yes. That is a red flag. I like socializing so for the sake of getting to understand that person, i would stick around for the remainder of that date, but there would definitely not be any others.đđđ
âRemind me, whatâs your name again?ââŚ
đđđalzhymers or amnesiac. Some type of memory loss going on. Either that, or the person is playing lots of peopleđ
Hi, nice to meet you, would you like to be my ex gf/bf ? Your lips + my lips = Apocalypse Your cellphone ringtone is seriously damaging your dating probabilities. Roses are red. Violets are blue. Your nails are fake. My love is true.
Thereâs this qns, I think aint good to ask.(âhow long have yo been Singleâ)
@Kan Why do people want to know how long you've been single? Is it to discount you because you haven't been snapped up yet? Please can someone explain what that question is trying to get at.
I can't remember the dating days, but if you say something bad, sometimes it's best not to try and over explain as you could end up sounding like Alan Partridge
I was rather taken aback when someone asked me "where did you learn to speak like that" like I was a well-trained dog
@Kristina well, where did you? đđ¤Ł
@Pav "My mother" was definitely what came out my mouth đđ
@Kristina touche hahahah
Were they asking if you were bilingual...or..? Either way, theres definitely a better way to phrase that questionđ¤Ł
From experience, something that shouldn't be said is 'nothing'.
True
