Worst advice for single Christians 🙄

@Oasis friendships and fellowship 🤙

@Jude I used to resent the concept but it’s honestly the best way. I don’t have to try so hard. :)

@Oasis Definitely. I mean you’re really giving yourself and the other person a GOOD chance that way. Based on the stats, you reduce the likelihood of divorce between 20-70%. It just makes sense from a logical standpoint. Takes away so much pressure too.

@Jude Hi Jude, Thanks for your input on this topic. I am wondering though where you got your stats on divorce? Divorce is a very complex matter involving the journey of an individual couple. The stats in Australia may differ in other countries too.

@Evelyn Thank you for your question. People reasonably fit in the MACROS. You’re talking about specific personalised experiences. I’m talking about aggregate data - IN GENERAL and ON AVERAGE, if you make friends and fellowship first before moving into a exclusive romantic relationship you’d reduce your likelihood of divorce.

@Evelyn Is it POSSIBLE that you don’t fit in the stats because your UNIQUE set of circumstances? YES Is it REASONABLE to think that you’re SO UNIQUE and DIFFERENT from everybody else? NO 😃

@Evelyn Jude has a SOP on all of this, I felt I needed to send a lil heads up in case we lose you in a rabbit hole 😬😄

@Jude I'd be interested to know where you get these stats from? And if some groups within the studies have more stigma attached to divorce vs. other groups which could be contributing factor to the outcome (whereby correlation does not always equal causation 😉 )

@Angela oh hey! We’re back at the same conversation 😃 pretty much… 1. University of Virginia’s National Marriage Project 2. John Gottman’s Research 3. National Bureau of Economic Research

@Angela Quantifying the likelihood. “While exact percentages can vary, a friendship-based relationship may cut divorce likelihood nearly in half (50%) in many contexts. Couples in friendship-first relationships report divorce rates of 15-20%, compared to the broader population’s 40-50%. The strong correlation highlights the importance of fostering friendship not only as a precursor to marriage but also as a central aspect of marital relationship”

@Angela More importantly, I’m yet to see studies recommending romance and dating-first.

@Kati copyright ©

@Jude they’re too busy being happy..

@Kati oh well, life’s not about that anyway🙃

@Jude 😮 we agreed on something!

@Jude have a sermon for you that I think you’ll like on that very thing - Ten Shekels and a shirt by Paris Reidhead. You can find it on YouTube although it is decades old. It’s one of the most profound I have heard.

@Kati is it about desire, romance, passion and the heart? 🙃 I’ll have a listen.

@Kati I’m not even sure if that’s a good thing to be honest 🙃

@Jude Nope, and kind of.

@Jude 🧐 ok.. How could someone so deluded agree with you?.. indeed it’s offensive to even consider.

@Kati a moment of lucidity perhaps? 🙃

@Jude thanks. 🤐

@Angela I think as a generic statement, “Just be yourself” seems to imply that people are intrinsically good, which isn’t entirely biblical. “My old self has been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me. So I live in this earthly body by trusting in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.” - Galatians‬ ‭2‬:‭20‬ ‭NLT‬‬ “Just learn to be more like Jesus” 👌🧐

@Taylor That makes sense. Learning to be more like Jesus and being formed more into who we are in Christ is of utmost importance. Yet I don't think that takes away from God having also uniquely and wonderfully made each of us. Even as believers, we don't all have the same strengths, gifts, temperaments or even likes/dislikes...even though we are hopefully all growing in the same fruits of the Spirit and being formed into the Image of Christ.

@Taylor So often, people wear masks, attempting to be who they perceive others around them would like, rather than being honest with who they truly are. It seems like it isn't either "be yourself" or "be like Jesus" but rather be honest with who you are - temperament, giftings, preferences, likes/dislikes, etc... AND continue to grow in becoming more and more a reflection of Christ.

@Angela There’s some good stuff there for sure!

@Oasis yes! This comment was actually right after a break up, and I made it known what the issues were and that was their response. There's a difference between maintaining boundaries/respect for yourself, and the inability to accept flawed humans. Never had an issue accepting others as they are, but that doesn't mean I have to accept that's what I am worth.

@Kristina oh, I’m so sorry you experienced that. That must of hurt and been really invalidating. I’m glad you know your worth as Christ does 💕🌸

@Jude it did have a few good points but it also had many not so great points. Such as shaming people for not being virgins and implying that they are of lesser value and that when you marry, you’re marrying all your exes as well. I did appreciate the testimony of the man who created a time capsule for the engagement ring. That account remained in my heart and I still cherish the thought until this day. “The Meaning of Marriage” by Tim Keller is honestly where it’s at though.

@Oasis I’m yet to read this one. Maybe during the Christmas break 👌

@Jude Stella read. It gave me hope and zeal. I need to read it again, but in God’s timing. I’m still healing from a broken engagement. (Not blaming the book, it was literally me rushing into a relationship and setting myself up for failure). Still advocating the book 🙌

@Oasis 2nd thread you’ve mentioned that book. Is that book going to be your first gift to your boyfriend and potential husband? 🙃

@Jude yes, reading it is absolutely a criteria point 😎🔥 I will not feel safe enough to proceed forward otherwise 😅 bonus points if he reads Adventist Home by Ellen White on his own accord and brings up points to discuss, indeed, I will be thoroughly impressed.

@Oasis well said 🤜🤛

@Justin my inner thoughts to that comment: “l don’t want many fish, i want my rainbow fish!” 🎣